A little break away

Finally taking a break from work. its that time of the year that ill be channeling my focus from work to the books. 10 full days off just to concentrate.

its gonna be a tough week ahead i imagine. Im still contemplating if i can make it for the confi retreat this sat afternoon. I guess i should know the answer already. Fact is, i somehow feel that my preparation for the upcoming exams seems to be rather choppy, sometimes i just have the feeling that im not putting in enough effort. There's work duties, school commitments, church formation and family obligations i need to attend to. Now with an addition of a special someone in my life, i feel that time is the factor, but the beauty of it is, HE always gives me ample time for all of them. i guess this is what they call a fulfilling life, where fatigue from all this just doesn't seem to matter at all. Maybe this is what they call satisfaction where no amount of treasure could ever replace this level of contentment. I just wanna say. Thanks.

After reflecting on today's reading on the Lk 12:13-21, something struck me deeply, "God said to him,"You fool, this night your life will be demanded of you; and the things you have prepared, to whom will they belong?' Thus will it be for the one who stores up treasure for himself but is not rich in what matters to God" After reading this passage a second time, it just reminds me of how we live our life, how caught up with what we think we need, especially work, trying to make a good living, trying to scale the corporate ladder, trying to achieve what we think will give us identity, to the point where we neglect what is most important to us. I believe we need to live our life as if it was our last day, and ask ourselves, what really matters to HIM. He does not judge us on what we possess, what we have achieved or how much wealth one has. What does our wealth consist of? Are we rich in the things of God?

Looking back, I really need to look into what really matters, the essentials of what makes us who we truly are. Our love ones, our gifts from God and those that he place with us. Somehow, i feel really comforted with just that.

Dei Gloriam~

God's Gift

The past few weeks has been quite an eventful time, besides work, there were many gatherings and events. I feel that there's a little change in my life...Maybe because subconciously there's someone new in my life, or rather a new friend. Its funny or amazing how HE always seems to arrange things so nicely and gave us choices. I always believe that its true. HE will plan for the opportunities, and its up to us to make the choices, like what RA always say, the Choice is Yours.

Her name is ------- ( only hint is we share the same 3 1st letters), i knew of her existence many yrs back in fact, just never had the opportunity to know her better, only until mid 04 i think, when a mutual friend introduced us. will always remember the 1st meeting at NUS Macs. Well, i always thought that she was that girl next door kind and always wanted to know her a little better. The years passed and our paths never crossed, until now. ( but im not sure how long or far the road will take us). Its like our life journey is made up of many many different routes, and at any point in time, there will be someone who's taking the same road as you, whether you continue walking with them is up to you, when a junction comes, we will need to make that choice as to if we should continue on the same journey together. just like best friends, more often than not, we will take the same route and head in a certain direction. For couples, they walk side by side, encouraging each other along the way, carrying each other if need be, just like HE sent them out 2 by 2. Of course there are times when they reach a certain junction that they will part, this happens when both decide to end their journey there and move on. Those that move along their way get over it, those who cant, will probably be stuck there, looking back.

My life jouney has been a long and winding one, people whom journeyed with me for a while, others for some time, some for a really long time and a few who's still with me. Those are the ones which I must treasure.

Back to the point, i guess its HIS plan to converge our 2 paths yet again, and give us the opportunity to discern and make the choice. Whether its just platonic friendship or more than that, i have yet to find out. Truth is, I enjoy her presence, her company, her thoughts and most importanly, I admire her big heart. Well, we have been spending some time together for now and it just seems pretty confortable. I know it will come a time when a choice have to be made, its like when a boy and a girl come together, spent time knowing each other and it will come a point in time (or a Y-junction) where both must decide whether they will carry on as friends or down the other road as more than that. We may not realise this fact but i always think that we have to make it clear to the other party so as to avoid any misunderstanding, or if one may lead the other on.

I guess i have to leave if to HIS Will. If its meant to be, it will. Everything happens for a reason.



HE never plans our journey, he only plans the paths and its up to us to make the choice.

Colmar retreat

I havnt had time to recap the road trip up to Colmar. I hope I can still recall.

It was retreat at least for me to spend some quiet time with myself, the weeks before that was filled with work, deadlines, assignments, lectures and late nites in the office going through all the legal documents as well as the audit which gave me sleepless nites. Had the bazaar to plan for to top it up. The trip came very timely then, to allow be to take a breather, as well as to think about IT. I guess I've found an avenue to turn to. Just like the last time i went to HK (a one day notice) to do some soul searching, 3 weeks in Melbourne to really think about what i wanted to do in life...this time, it was Colmar...

So...some revelations ....

We went up in 2 cars, Leslie, Michelle, Julius, Pauline, Colin and Val. 3 couples and me. Well, she was suppose to come along but i don't think there's a need for any explanation. I guess it was all planned, and i believe i made the right decision not to back out. Julius & Pauline -the newly weds who are expecting a new additon to the family, Leslie & Michelle, my dear buddy getting married next year, and the newly attached couple -Colin and Val. Sometimes, i really wonder, does HE really need to be that obvious, putting me in there to see the 3 variations...

Anyway, the journey up was spent with Leslie & Michelle, a really long chat on the way up. We were discussing about how people have changed over the years, that relationships will change too, or rather grow, if not wither. About how I've changed over the years, the people whom ive met and developed love and friendship in the process. Its all part of growing up, maturing and experiences. As we discussed further, you're more aware of who you are, and who you are is the outcome of the life journey so far. I'm glad that the many falls along the way made me become more careful each time i step into a 'pothole'. Its these experience that help nurture our character.

At Colmar, it was a place of serenity and peace. Your mind at rest. You just feel that you have been taken away from the secular world and placed in a environment free from stress and trouble. You know it wont last long but then again, you tell yourself that you need to treasure the moment while it lasts., which I did. Apart from the 3 nites of games and each others' "home", there were times that I was left alone, to really think about IT. I can still remember the 1st nite when we had Italian and we went round the table, sharing our love experience, actually, it was how the 3 couples got to know each other and how they ended up together. Indeed, it was a heart to heart sharing, and it really warms my heart to know that its really as simple as it is, nothing fantastic nor elaborate, but plain simple. Love grows.( that’s what I gathered from our little fellowship). That nite was priceless, 7 of us, over desserts and beer, kept going on about our life stories and how wonderful it was meeing their partner and how they became lovers, and eventually, becoming a family.

Frankly, I was torn in between, should I be feeling envious or contended? feelings were mixed, that was what I had to struggle with. Then I thought to myself, love did grow in me, and went away, 3 times, well, I tend to see it as this – At least it grew in me, didn’t last long, but I would rather love and lost than not to love all. I would give up anything just to feel that.. even if its for a moment. Then again, the question is, the next time when it grows in you, how do you make it stay longer, if not forever?
Sometimes, you ask yourself, when? When will that moment be?. Do we wait? Or do we be proactive. Love is only love when you give it away.

Day 2, spent the day painting with Pauline and Michelle, had an interesting discussion on what ladies really want these days. It made me realized issues that never cross my mind, things guys do not usually see. Shant disclose too much here..heh, glad they provided me with deep insides.

Can’t really recall much on the sequence on activities there but we played tennis one morning, played with bunnies in the rabbit park, had Japanese tea ceremony in the Jap Park, trekking through the little rainforest….

That nite we had French Cuisine, sipping wine and continued sharing. Another priceless evening with great company.

The trip back.. I decided to bum Colin and Val to the Benz and took the ride with the newly weds. Of course, another long discussion along the way. Shant go into details again, all I can say is, I took home a lot. Things that I never did realize, views that you thought never exists, issues that are present but are usually overlooked and things we all take for granted. In short, all I can say is…they are both instruments of God, and im glad I took it with an open heart.

What a trip! If only this happens more often…